McDonald's
L.W. THORN’S SALES
Mr. Thorn, Mr.
L. W Thorn lives on the East bench in South Ogden, Utah. His home is only
accessible by a remote controlled electronic gate. He lives there with his
lovely wife. He has a full time gardener, a house painter along with several
cleaning ladies. At times he has made lots of money.
L. W. Thorn,
“Mr. Super Duper,” has the largest truck parts and paint sales company in Utah,
at least for the moment. There are many people who doubt if Mr. Thorn will be
able to retain his sales leadership this year.
A person by
the name of Hugh Downs, who is Thorn's sidekick, at the five day a week
McDonald coffee chit chats, can be called upon for consultation and the true
facts at any time, even while Bill
Arnold is talking. Mr. Thorn likes to share adventurous stories about his
humble beginnings. Life at McDonald’s coffee is normally blab, blab…about the
speed of a Dewey Drone with its gears in neutral, but this week there was
suddenly a change an uncomfortable change. Word filtered out that one of Mr. Thorn’s
cleaning lady, that he who has been in the past an expert in the automotive
parts sales world, has been under-performing, not by a tad, in the number of
parts and paint sales the first two quarters of this year.
When Thorn the
proud owner of “Ogden Truck Parts” first heard about the sales slump from one
of the cleaning ladies he couldn’t believe it. At the time he was cooking
dinner in the entry way of his court yard, throwing food around as if it we’re
going out of style.
“Is there a leak
in the dam, why have the numbers gone down river,” Thorn pondered, I didn’t win
twenty consecutive Blue Ribbons Truck Gold Awards and all the free Hawaii trips
for my employees by watching sports TV, drinking beer and eating popcorn? It
took over seven years of hard work before I topped Wasatch Truck sales, to
become Utah’s top truck parts and paint sales.
2013 is still my goal.
It's become
trendy to be a Mr. Thorn doubter, considering his age, and the recent by-pass
surgery, then last month a stent in his carotid artery among other things.
Utah Auto
Association secretary, Kay Arnold, noted that he's a un-Thorn one in twenty-one
odds to win the Utah Auto Association Sales Award this year. More recently, a
poll was taken in which only one expert picked Thorn to be a loser in the Kings
Personality Parts Sales Spa Brunch contest. Add in Trucker analyst, Lil' Wayne Morris who blew off Lew's
chances for this year’s Playboy Magazine “Auto-mate Man Of the Year Award,” and
it gets to be quite conclusive that now is the time for Thorn to step down
alongside Palin.
Amid this
cloud of underestimation, Thorn surfaced Monday morning in the Ogden City’s new
McDonald’s on 39th and Washington Blvd. He looked, as always, Thorn-tactic. He
wore an understated navy blue ensemble that contrasted elegantly against the
new Lesbian New Yorker's open look.
McDonald’s is
a rehab center for the many Monday through Friday Thorn coffee friends between
the time of the first sip of coffee starting at 8am and the last sip at
11:30am.
At Monday's
coffee meeting, Thorn gave the middle finger between-the-legs, which
flabbergasted the customers and the cleaning lady too. The incident was very
noticeable indeed. It is the finger thing, a stirring reminder of the
taken-for-granted great salesmanship that still lurks within the
eighty-year-old onetime South Ogden J.C. President.
That isn’t
the half of it, shortly thereafter In the middle of the same coffee meeting,
Thorn stumbled up upon a nearby table and shouted,
"I'm going
to win the sales parts contest this year! There is none as good as me!"
Bill Arnold,
the number one seated coffee talker, and well trained often motion maker at the
‘Foot Printer’s” meetings made the motion that,
“Thorn is
the greatest great and most powerful wizard! He is the people’s choice, Mr.
Automotive Utah.” Then he left to go fishing.
It was seconded
by the cleaning lady standing behind the window.
John Stone
stated,
“All discussion is closed.”
Former BYU
football coach Laval Edwards, “seconded it.”
It’s Lew’s
curse to have had a top notch successful business for so long. Now it is not
helpful having compliments from cleaning ladies and Mr. Arnold.
This
afternoon Lew, a little bamboozled, along with his lovely wife flew his plane
out of town. His falconer, Zeroes stayed behind guarding the entry gate so as
to act as an extra watch dog. You can’t make this stuff up. His plan is to take
a boat ride down the Blue Danube into the Black Sea. Will there be enough time
to plan a come back? Will he be back as a hero teacher of his Sunday school
class or be disqualified from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir for eternity? Can you
once again change the tide Thorn?
The doubters
are multiplying.
To see the world map of countries with McDonald's go to:
w.w.w.mcdonaldslocations.com
To be continued soon…
DR KARL WALLACE D.D.S.
To
read more of the story goes to: w.w.w.karlwallaceblog.blogspot.com
