ABOUT U.S. GRANT
My name is
Ulysses S. Grant. I’m a banana squash, a native banana squash, retired, intelligent
if I do say so. love airplanes. I'm a Star at "Who BU video where I sit on
a kitchen counter, and taunt whatever vegetable, fruit, or unlucky edible that
gets set near me. I heckle the other guy with questions and crack lame jokes. I
cackle at them in a shrill voice until, tragically, a human hand slices my new
friend with a butcher knife before everyone’s eyes, and then is eaten by the
cook. On one episode a dozen humanoid eggs, watch in horror from their carton,
as a human cracked and fried an egg. In
another episode, a watermelon had a face supplied digitally, with a new one
being carved on his backside Halloween like, while the guts seeds, and rime
were sucked out in a swoosh with a vacuum
hose. Before the ends comes, I pester the other food characters on the counter
with adolescent jokes. "Hey, Apple! You look fruity." If there's no other fruit or vegetable
around, I sit on the counter top lamenting how bored I am, rolling my tongue
around, and making faces. Children love it, the food Channel Comcast 402 gets a
high Nielsen rating, and I earn a living. I would be a good marketing chairman for a
customer advertiser corporation as I can talk with humans anywhere in the world.
I can also accurately communicate with
black birds. I don’t like dogs, hate dogs, but I do enjoy talking with cats,
and I can accurately communicate with beasts and some plants.
This Tall Tale,is about my life at home. I live at Hill Air Force Base in Roy, Utah in
Hanger 210 in the back room. I love
to talk to the museums gift shop’s part time cashier by the name of Pat (Patsy) Curtis, who also
moonlights as a secretary for Dick Rainy,
the fund raising Chairman of the Republican Party. The hanger doors and the side doors are closed at 5 p.m. That's the time I can start having fun. After
the visitors leave. The building is filled with World War I - II and several other vintage planes that date all way
back to Kitty Hawk, and the Wright Brothers. It is home to the best +fighter plane
of World War II, the American P51 Mustang.
Last Sunday my wife Passion and I went
to church. I was dressed in a conservative black skirt and jacket with white
trim.
To be continued…
To read more KARL
WALLACE go to:
karlwallaceblog.blogspot.com
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