McDonald's
Lew Thorn, “Mr. Super Duper,” has the largest automotive parts and paint sales company in Utah, at least for the moment. There are many people who doubt if Mr. Thorn will be able to retain his sales leadership this year.
A person by the name of Hugh Down, who is Thorn's sidekick, at the five day a week McDonald coffee chit chats, can be called upon by Lew for consultation, even when Bill Arnold is talking. They like to share adventurous stories about their humble beginnings. Life at the McDonald’s coffee is normally blab, blab…about the speed of a Dewey Drone with its gears in neutral, but this week there was suddenly an uncomfortable change. Word filtered out through one of Thorns cleaning ladies that he who has been in the past an expert in the automotive parts sales world, has been under-performing a tad, in the number of parts and paint sales for the first two quarters of this year.
When Thorn the proud owner of “Ogden Auto Parts” first heard about the sales slump from one of the cleaning ladies he was cooking dinner at the entry way of his court yard, throwing pans and food around as if it we’re going out of style.
Is there a leak in the dam, why have the numbers gone down river, Thorn pondered, I didn’t win twenty consecutive Blue Ribbons Automotive Gold Awards and free Hawaii trips for my employees watching TV, drinking beer and eating popcorn? It took me over seven long years of hard work before I topped Larry Miller in sales, to become Utah’s top auto parts and paint sales. 2013 is still my goal.
It's become trendy to be a Lew doubter, considering his age, and the recent by-pass surgery, then last month a stent in his carotid artery and so on.
Utah Auto Association secretary, Kay Arnold, noted that he's an unThorn one in twenty-one odds to win the Utah Auto Association Sales Award this year. More recently, a poll was taken in which only one expert picked Lew to be a loser in the Kings Personality Parts Sales Spa Brunch contest. Add in automotive analyst, Lil' Wayne Morris who blew off Lew's chances for this year’s Playboy Magazine “Auto-mate Man Of the Year Award,” and it gets to be quite conclusive that now is the time for Thorn to step down alongside Palin.
Amid this cloud of underestimation, Thorn surfaced Monday morning in the Ogden City’s new McDonald’s on 39th and Washington Blvd. McDonald's. He looked, as always, Thorn-tactic. He wore an understated navy blue ensemble that contrasted elegantly against the new Lesbian New Yorker's open look.
McDonald’s is a rehab center for the many Monday through Friday Thorn coffee friends between the time of the first sip of coffee starting at 8am and the last sip at 11:30am.
At Monday's coffee meeting, Thorn gave the middle finger between-the-legs, which flabbergasted the customers and the McDonald's cleaning lady too. The incident was very noticeable indeed. It is the finger thing, a stirring reminder of the taken-for-granted great salesmanship that still lurks within the eighty-year-old onetime South Ogden JC President.
That isn’t the half of it, shortly thereafter In the middle of the same coffee meeting, Thorn stumbled up upon a nearby table and shouted,
"I'm going to win the sales parts contest this year! There is none as good as me!"
Bill Arnold, the number one seated coffee talker, and well trained often motion maker at the ‘Foot Printer’s” meetings made the motion that,
“Thorn is the greatest great and most powerful wizard! He is the people’s choice, Mr. Automotive Utah.” Then he left to go fishing. It was seconded by the cleaning lady standing behind the window.
John Stone stated,
“All discussion is closed.”
Former
BYU football coach Laval Edwards, “seconded it.”
It’s Lew’s curse to have had a top notch
successful business for so long. Now it is not helpful having compliments from
cleaning ladies and Mr. Arnold. This afternoon Lew, a little bamboozled, along with his lovely wife flew his plane out of town. His falconer, Zeroes stayed behind guarding the entry gate so as to act as an extra watch dog. You can’t make this stuff up. His plan is to take a boat ride down the Blue Danube into the Black Sea. Will there be enough time to plan a come back? Will he be back as a hero teacher of his Sunday school class or be disqualified from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir for eternity? Can you once again change the tide Thorn?
The doubters are multiplying.
DR KARL WALLACE D.D.S.
To read more of the story go to: w.w.w.karlwallaceblog.blogspot.com
