How the Internet Started according to the Bible
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that
a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife
by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was
a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she
was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said
unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town
with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did
look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but
simply said, "How, dear?"
And Dot replied,
"I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages
saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the
best price. The sale can be made on
the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought
long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate
success. Abraham sold all the goods he
had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To prevent
neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised
a system that only she and the drummers knew.
It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed
a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).
And the young
men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel
dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or
NERDS.
And lo, the
land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of
drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising
drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the
land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with
Brother Gates' drum heads and drumsticks.
And Dot did
say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by
others."
And Abraham
looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known, and said,
"We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot
replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO," said Abraham.
And because it
was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham's
cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that
he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the
countryside. It soon became known as
God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).
That is how it all
began.
And that's the truth.
