*NOTE: 14 year old girl
Dear Diary:
Jan 3, 1981: Today I’m wondering if I like
snowboarding or boys better.
I
discovered the spectacular sport of snowboarding about six years ago, when my
brother Mark Wallace taught me how to snowboard. If I were asked to choose
between a guy and my snowboard, I would most likely choose the latter. Maybe
it’s just because of my great love of the sport and presently my not so great
love toward boys. Within the first minute or two of meeting a guy, I ask,
“So, do you ski or do anything along that line?”
If his reply is no that’s the end of that. If
his answer is yes or along that line the conversation continues. If they say,
“I don’t
ski, but I snowboard, then they are cream of the crop on my list.”
Yet I can break it down even further havin ascertained
the different type of snowboarders. It’s one thing for a person to say they
snowboard and another to see if it’s really true. The real test is to take or
get them on the slopes. It’s not like they have to be a pro or they don’t pass
my test. It’s just their general attitude about snowboarding.
Here below are
a few examples.
First, I went with Clark. He was real quiet
and liked to race down the hill as fast as he could. Each turn was precisely
right. He avoided venturing into the trees or any type of jumps. He stayed on
the hard pack stuff. That’s o.k., but I didn’t last long with him because it
was a little too boring. I kind of stay away from the racer types.
Next there was Brandon. He had me laughing
the whole day. On the lift ride up he talked the whole time and made jokes. He
used words like dude, bro, radical, tweaking, totally cool, etc. His
personality was reflected in his snowboarding. He would hit every jump and try
to do a trick. He liked to slide on the stair railing, picnic tables and
anything else he could get away with. He is what the snowboarding industry
would call a jibber. Not to be rude but he is the type of snowboarder that the
ski patrol men make jokes about. One common one is this: At a brain transplant
center, there are brains in jars along with their price tags. A visiting doctor
is checking out the prices-lawyer: $5000. Doctor: 7000, Snowboarder: $ 25, 00.
The visiting doctor asks, “What’s the deal with this snowboarder’s brain? How
come it’s $25,000.” Another doctor answers, “Because it’s never been used.”
Brandon was fun to be with but I needed someone who could say a sentence
without the word dude in it.
Then
there was Dave. He was a beginner but I didn’t mind. We went down the easy
runs. I gave him some pointers and it was quite evident it bothered him, that
me a female, would tell him what's what. He was the cocky
chauvinism type like guys are dominant. So I said see ya definitely wouldn’t want
to be ya.
The next type of guy snowboarder I encountered
was Jeremy. He was the total adrenalin seeker. I like going off a cliff every
now and then, but he was definitely an extremist. He would go off anything and
everything. He didn’t think twice about it, he didn’t wait to see if something
was at the bottom like a big rock, icy snow or anything else life threatening.
That’s fine and all but I wouldn’t want to get too attached to him because I
wouldn’t be sure that he would be alive after a day of snowboarding.
Then there
was Matt Warner. What can I say? He didn’t know how to snowboard, but I didn’t
care a whit. I fell in love with him at first sight. I didn’t care if I ever
snowboarded.
Sincerely
Mrs. Natalie Wallace Warner
