This tale is about me
My name is Ulysses S Grant
I’m a
banana squash.
I'm presently a star actor at
"WhoBU video. On Saturdays I sit on, a kitchen counter and taunt whatever
vegetable, fruit, or unlucky edible gets set near me. I heckle the them with
questions, crack lame jokes, cackle at them in a shrill voice until,
tragically, a human hand slices my newly made friend with a butcher knife right
before everyone’s eyes, and then is fried, then eaten by the cook or his
helpers or maybe eaten by a dozen humanoid eggs, watching and waiting in horror
from their carton. Maybe in another episode I’m an animated pumpkin, who sports
a digitally supplied face, while a new one being carved on my backside,
Halloween like. Then the guts, seeds, and rime are suddenly sucked out in a
swoosh. Once again before the end comes, I pester the other food characters on
the counter and set up his adolescent jokes like "Hey, orange you look
fruity."
If there's no fruits or vegetables
around, I sit on the counter top lamenting how bored I am, rolling my tongue
around, and making faces or I might sit in the gutter by the road with a big
“Free Squash” sign and the travelers laugh and point at me. Children love it,
Comcast food channel 402, gets a high Nielsen rating, plus I earn a good
living.
This story, however, is about my life at
home, after work. I live at Hill Air Force Base in Roy, Utah in Hangar210 in a
faraway back room. I like the museum gift shop’s part time cashier Pat (Patsy)
Curtis, who also moonlights as a secretary to, the National Republican Party
fund raiser chairman.
I am
a native squash, retired, love airplanes. The hanger doors and the side doors
are closed at 5 p.m. That's the time I
can start having fun after the visitors leave. The building is loaded with
World War I and II vintage planes that date all way back to Kitty Hawk, the
Wright Brothers and beyond. It is home to the best Air Force fighter plane of
World War II, the American P51 Mustang.
I would be a good marketing chairman for a
customer advertiser corporation as I can talk with many humans anywhere in the
world. I can accurately communicate with black birds. I don’t like dogs, hate
dogs, but I do enjoy talking with cats. Also, I can accurately communicate with
beasts and plants. I am an intelligent
Squash, if I do say so.
Today, my wife Passion, nobody lays a knife on her, and
I went to church. I was dressed in a conservative black shirt and jacket with
white trim.
Dr. KARL WALLACE DDS
To read more Karl Wallace stories go karlwallaceblog.blogspot.com
