Ms. Maria Martinez SinglesMeet Ad
I came as a reporter of stories of interest to see Maria Martinez. It was a Tuesday morning
the third day after her accident. When she opened her door, I faced a short dark completed
woman in a blue and white muumuu. Her face supported a swollen nose that gave her nose the
look of an oversized piglet. Her dark black hair fell down around her face, and smelled of
rancid butter. Her loose fitting clothes hung on as they do for people who take from dumpsters,
or perhaps it was the replacement outfit while waiting for something better to get back from
the laundry. She likes garlic. I knew that when she said, “Good Morning.” Her black eyes
searched me over for nearly a minute, and then she said, “Follow me, I’ll show you where it
happened!”
the third day after her accident. When she opened her door, I faced a short dark completed
woman in a blue and white muumuu. Her face supported a swollen nose that gave her nose the
look of an oversized piglet. Her dark black hair fell down around her face, and smelled of
rancid butter. Her loose fitting clothes hung on as they do for people who take from dumpsters,
or perhaps it was the replacement outfit while waiting for something better to get back from
the laundry. She likes garlic. I knew that when she said, “Good Morning.” Her black eyes
searched me over for nearly a minute, and then she said, “Follow me, I’ll show you where it
happened!”
She started down a long dark hallway. I
came stepping carefully after her following the
garlic. Presently, she stopped, apparently we were standing at the official launching point of
her stairway accident.
garlic. Presently, she stopped, apparently we were standing at the official launching point of
her stairway accident.
Ms. Martinez took out the following ad in the
Ogden Standard Examiner singles section.
WANTED A GENTLEMAN COMPANION
I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs
landing flat on my face on my concrete basement
floor. Most gentlemen want to see a current picture in want ads. This photo was not
taken twenty or thirty years ago. It was taken two or three days after I fell down my
basement stairs.
Me after the accident floor. Most gentlemen want to see a current picture in want ads. This photo was not
taken twenty or thirty years ago. It was taken two or three days after I fell down my
basement stairs.
Some ladies pay a fortune for collagen
injections to plump up their lips but I got a fat lip
without paying a dime. On top of that, I got a nose job and a face peel as a bonus free of charge.
If you want a face make over, I highly recommend this economic method. All you have to do
is fall down your basement stairs, skid across the concrete on your nose.
Me before the accidentwithout paying a dime. On top of that, I got a nose job and a face peel as a bonus free of charge.
If you want a face make over, I highly recommend this economic method. All you have to do
is fall down your basement stairs, skid across the concrete on your nose.
Relationship status: Divorced, every thing’s calm. Children 3 not living with me except presently 1 at home until I mend
Drinking Habits: Social drinker, daily since the fall so as to help me sleep
Who I would like to meet: A gentleman if breathing.
Want to chat? My email is: HoityTotie@yahoo.com Cell 801-648-8515. Reply now before it's too late. If you’re not interested? Send me a polite "No, thanks. I'm not interested.” Then pass it on.
My Interests: I like to travel Hawaii, live music, Elton John, cruises of more than 3 days, eating out 0KC Steak House, Panda Palace, dancing, movies, The Jerk Steve Martin.
I Like To: Entertain,
as an “Entertainer,” I'm into all kinds of things. We really should start
talking!
Personality: My
personality makes me a “Fearless Leader.” Get the two of us together and our
friends will say we're an excellent couple.
Communication: My communication style makes me a
“Conversationalist,” which means you and I should have some excellent
conversations!
Romance: I'm somewhat of a romantic “Sentimentalist,” and
you know what that means: You and I could be in for some excellent
va-va-va-voom!!!!
Commitment: When it comes to commitment, I'm definitely committed
a “Great Catch.” I’d say we'd make excellent music, as soon as I get on my
feet. Please don’t forget, I have another face. Hope to hear from you
soon.
*Foot Note: Maria Martinez’s
plight went out Twittered, Face book, and UPI. She, thence, has received several encouraging e-mails. She is hopeful for
a commitment or a dinner invitation soon. Additionally she has a portrait
appointment next month.
DR.
KARL WALLACE DDS To read more Dr. Wallace stories go to: karlwallaceblog.blogspot.com
