CREAM OF THE CROP
I discovered the spectacular sport of snowboarding about six years ago, when I was six years old. If I were asked to choose between a guy and my snowboard I would most likely choose the latter. Maybe it’s just because of my great love of the sport and my not so great love toward men presently. Within the first minute or so of meeting a guy I ask, so do you ski or do anything along the line. If his reply is yes or along that line the conversation continues. If he says I don’t ski but I snowboard, then they are cream of the crop on my list. Yet I can break it down even further. I’ve discovered the different type of snowboarders.
It’s one thing for a person to say they snowboard and another to see if it’s really true. The real test is one on one up on the slopes. They don’t have to be a pro to pass my test. It’s just their general attitude about snowboarding. Here are a few examples.
First, I went with Clark. He was real quiet and liked to race down the hill as fast as he could. Each turn was precisely right. He avoided venturing into the trees or any type of jumps. He stayed on the hard pack stuff. That’s o.k., but I didn’t last long with him because it was a little too boring. I kind of stay away from the racer types.
Next there was Brandon. He had me laughing the whole day. On the lift ride up he talked the whole time and made jokes. He used words like dude, bro, radical, tweekin, totally cool, etc. His personality was reflected in his snowboarding. He would hit every jump and try to do a trick. He liked to slide on the stair railing, picnic tables, and anything else he could get connect with. He is what the snowboarding industry would call a jibber. Not to be rude but he is the type of snowboarder that the ski patrol men make jokes about. One common one is this: At a brain transplant center, there are brains in jars along with their price tags. A visiting doctor is checking out the prices-lawyer: $5,000. Doctor: $7,000, Snowboarder: $ 25, 000. The visiting doctor asks, “What’s the deal with this snowboarder’s brain? How come it’s $25,000.” Another doctor answers, “Because it’s never been used.” Brandon was fun to be with but I needed someone who could say a sentence without the word dud in it.
Then there was Dave. He was a beginner but I didn’t mind. We went down the easy runs. I gave him some pointer and it was quite evident that it bothered him that me, a female, would give him pointers. He was the girls shouldn’t snowboard, guys are dominant cocky type. So I said see ya definitely wouldn’t want to be ya.
The next type of guy snowboarder I encountered was Jeremy. He was the total adrenalin seeker. I like going off a cliff every now and then but he was difnitely an extremist. He would go off anything and everything. He didn’t think twice about it, he didn’t wait to see if something was at the bottom like a big rock, icy snow or anything else life threatening. That’s fine and all but I wouldn’t want to get too attached to him because I couldn’t be sure that he would be in the ski patrol emergency hut in the middle of a beautiful snowboarding day..
Then there’s Matt. First time passionate beginner. He was perfect. I fell in love with him on the Bunny Hill. We’re now going steady forever. I don’t care if I never snowboard.
THE END
KARL WALLACE
To read more Karl stories go to: karlwallaceblog.blogspot.com
I discovered the spectacular sport of snowboarding about six years ago, when I was six years old. If I were asked to choose between a guy and my snowboard I would most likely choose the latter. Maybe it’s just because of my great love of the sport and my not so great love toward men presently. Within the first minute or so of meeting a guy I ask, so do you ski or do anything along the line. If his reply is yes or along that line the conversation continues. If he says I don’t ski but I snowboard, then they are cream of the crop on my list. Yet I can break it down even further. I’ve discovered the different type of snowboarders.
It’s one thing for a person to say they snowboard and another to see if it’s really true. The real test is one on one up on the slopes. They don’t have to be a pro to pass my test. It’s just their general attitude about snowboarding. Here are a few examples.
First, I went with Clark. He was real quiet and liked to race down the hill as fast as he could. Each turn was precisely right. He avoided venturing into the trees or any type of jumps. He stayed on the hard pack stuff. That’s o.k., but I didn’t last long with him because it was a little too boring. I kind of stay away from the racer types.
Next there was Brandon. He had me laughing the whole day. On the lift ride up he talked the whole time and made jokes. He used words like dude, bro, radical, tweekin, totally cool, etc. His personality was reflected in his snowboarding. He would hit every jump and try to do a trick. He liked to slide on the stair railing, picnic tables, and anything else he could get connect with. He is what the snowboarding industry would call a jibber. Not to be rude but he is the type of snowboarder that the ski patrol men make jokes about. One common one is this: At a brain transplant center, there are brains in jars along with their price tags. A visiting doctor is checking out the prices-lawyer: $5,000. Doctor: $7,000, Snowboarder: $ 25, 000. The visiting doctor asks, “What’s the deal with this snowboarder’s brain? How come it’s $25,000.” Another doctor answers, “Because it’s never been used.” Brandon was fun to be with but I needed someone who could say a sentence without the word dud in it.
Then there was Dave. He was a beginner but I didn’t mind. We went down the easy runs. I gave him some pointer and it was quite evident that it bothered him that me, a female, would give him pointers. He was the girls shouldn’t snowboard, guys are dominant cocky type. So I said see ya definitely wouldn’t want to be ya.
The next type of guy snowboarder I encountered was Jeremy. He was the total adrenalin seeker. I like going off a cliff every now and then but he was difnitely an extremist. He would go off anything and everything. He didn’t think twice about it, he didn’t wait to see if something was at the bottom like a big rock, icy snow or anything else life threatening. That’s fine and all but I wouldn’t want to get too attached to him because I couldn’t be sure that he would be in the ski patrol emergency hut in the middle of a beautiful snowboarding day..
Then there’s Matt. First time passionate beginner. He was perfect. I fell in love with him on the Bunny Hill. We’re now going steady forever. I don’t care if I never snowboard.
THE END
KARL WALLACE
To read more Karl stories go to: karlwallaceblog.blogspot.com
