ABOUT US GRANT
My name is Ulysses S Grant. I’m a banana squash, a native banana squash, retired, intelligent if I do say so, and I love airplanes
I'm a Star at "Who BU video where I sit on a kitchen counter, and taunt whatever vegetable, fruit, or unlucky edible that gets set near me. I heckle the other guy with questions and crack lame jokes. I cackle at them in a shrill voice until, tragically, a human hand slices my new friend with a butcher knife before everyone’s eyes, and then is eaten by the cook. Orr maybe a dozen humanoid eggs, watch in horror from their carton, as a human cracked and fried an egg. In another episode, as animated watermelon had a face supplied digitally, with a new one being carved on his backside, Halloween like, while the guts seeds, and rime were sucked out in a swoosh with a vacuum hose. Before the ends comes, I pester the other food characters on the counter with adolescent jokes. "Hey, Apple! You look fruity." If there's no other fruit or vegetable around, I sit on the counter top lamenting how bored I am, rolling my tongue around, and making faces. Children love it, the food Channel Comcast 402 gets a high Nielsen rating, and I earn a good living.
I would be a good marketing chairman for a customer advertiser corporation as I can talk with most humans anywhere in the world. Additionally, I can also accurately communicate with black birds. I don’t like dogs, hate dogs, but I do enjoy talking with cats, and I can accurately communicate with beasts and plants.
This story, however, is about my life at home, after work. I live at Hill Air Force Base in Roy, Utah in Hanger 210 in a faraway back room. I like the museum gift shop’s part time cashier Pat (Patsy) Curtis, who also moonlights as a secretary to Dick Rainy, the fund raising Chairman of the National Republican Party. The hanger doors and the side doors are closed at 5 p.m. That's the time I can start having fun after the visitors leave. The building is loaded with World War I and II vintage planes that date all way back to Kitty Hawk, the Wright Brothers and beyond. It is home to the best Air Force fighter plane of World War II, the American P51 Mustang.
Last Sunday my wife Passion and I went to church. I was dressed in a conservative black skirt and jacket with white trim.
To be continued…
To read more KARL WALLACE go to: karlwallaceblog.blogspot.com
