ABOUT US GRANT
My name is Ulysses S Grant a banana squash. I'm presently a star at "Who BU video
where I sit on a kitchen counter, a kitchen counter and taunt whatever vegetable, fruit,
or unlucky edible that gets set near me. I heckle the other guy with questions and crack
lame jokes. I cackle at them in a shrill voice until, tragically, a human hand slices my new
friend with a butcher knife before everyone’s eyes, and then is eaten by the cook or
maybe a dozen humanoid eggs watching in horror from their carton as a human cracked
and fried an egg. In another an animated pumpkin, who sported a face supplied digitally,
felt a new one being carved on his backside, Halloween like after the guts seeds, and
rime were suddenly sucked out in a swoosh. Before the end came, I pester the other
food character on the counter to set up his adolescent jokes. "Hey, Apple! You look
fruity." If there's no other fruit or vegetable around, I sit on the counter top lamenting
how bored I am, rolling my tongue around, and making faces. Children love it, the food
Channel Comcast 402 gets a high Nielsen rating, and I earn a good living.
This story, however, is about my life at home, after work. I live at Hill Air Force
Base in Roy, Utah in Hanger 210 in a faraway back room. I like the museum gift shop’s
part time cashier Pat (Patsy) Curtis, who also moonlights as a secretary to Dick, the
Republican Party fund raiser Chairman.
My wife Passion was dressed in a conservative black skirt and jacket with white trim
last Sunday when we went to church. Nobody lays a knife on her. I am a native squash,
retired, love airplanes. The hanger doors and the side doors are closed at 5 p.m. That's
the time I can start having fun after the visitors leave. The building is loaded with World
War I and II vintage planes that date all way back to Kitty Hawk, the Wright Brothers
and beyond. It is home to the best Air Force fighter plane of World War II, the
American P51 Mustang.
I would be a good marketing chairman for a customer advertiser corporation as I
can talk with most humans anywhere in the world. Additionally, I can also accuratel
communicate with black birds. I don’t like dogs, hate dogs, but I do enjoy talking with
cats. I am an intelligent Squash, if I do say so, and I can accurately communicate with
beasts and plants.
To read more KARL WALLACE go to: karlwallaceblog.blogspot.com
