IN MEMORY OF MY MOTHER
My mother taught me more in her death than I was able to learn in Sunday school. I’ve realized life is too short to be angry at anyone, spend it on loving and understanding those around you. I have done my best to live by that –I don’t want to disappoint her alive I still reproach myself for not being a better son while she as alive in her later years. I have my mother’s same chestnut brown eyes and persistence, I really want my mom to tow that I am doing my best to go above and beyond for her so she would be proud of me. She left me with her ability to love everyone.
POST Mortem “DIE SQUASH DYING!”
So you did it again! Grew enough squash to cure world hunger. Your neighbors shut the doors and close the curtains when they see you coming. You take some down to the housing project and them are either allergic to them or they are on their way to a job interview. You sit out by the road with a big “FREE SQUASH” sign and the travelers laugh and point at you.
Here are some handy tips to take care of that little problem! I'll add to them as we experiment.
1: Set squash up for kids to use their B.B. gun target shooting
2: Tie 20 squash to the back of your truck and take off down a gravel road.
3: Grind it up and add small untraceable amounts to hot salsa.
4: Drill a hole in it and stuff a cherry bomb inside...light and throw...quick.
5: Flying squash. Get a long large pipe with the back end blocked up. Add one squash and a small bomb.
6: Wrap a blanket around it, draw a face on it, and let preschoolers use it for a veggie baby.
7: Hang one from a tree and use it for bow–and-arrow practice.
8: Mad at the hubby? Wife? Serve it at every meal for a week.
9: Whop big dog on the head with one when he gets out-of-line.
10: Shoot one with a magnum 44.
11: House quest staying too long? Serve it every meal till they leave.
12: Slice thin, dip in sugar syrup. Dehydrate and tell kids its banana chips from big bananas.
13: See if you can chunk one all the way down to that big tree by the woods.
14: Feed it to the cows. They'll eat anything.
15: Grade the sides with a cheese grader till rough. Roll in peanut butter and bird seed. Hang from the trees.
16: Put some on a busy highway then bet whose pumpkin will get hit first.
17: Run the lawn mower over them.
18: Start your first compost pile.
19: See how many squash it takes to fill a 1974 two-door Cadillac.
20: Ask: Does squash burn? It does with a blow torch!
This winter, by doing this (It happens to the best of us). You start with a few sniffles and sneezes andthen BAM! Out of nowhere you're laid out in bed with a nasty cold.
Good morning, my name is US GRANT. Everybody refers to me as Farmer Ulysses. I'm a master gardener in Weber County. This morning we're talking about how to harvest scallions, and onions; these are cool weather crops. In fact, you can put them in during the Fall and you can start harvesting them in March.
When you plant scallions, you plant them just like you would carrots or even lettuce. You “sow” them in the ground and when they start coming up, they grow up and look like grass. Green scallions get about eight inches tall, or even ten inches tall, something--like that, and that's the time you harvest them. They have a nice looking leaf on them. Anyway, you can just take ahold of the individual plants and pull them out and just snap; they come right out of the ground. They have a very small bulb so they come out real easy. That's the way you harvest green onions. They grow in clusters or you can spread them out if or when you get a bunch of them growing in a group. Spread them out and they will proliferate and become real large so that you can harvest them just by taking them out of the ground. There is no storing of green onions. They will wilt no matter where you put them, even in the freezer, etc. Use them right away. That's the way you harvest your green onions, scallions.
To bee continued...
